My mom and I at times have a very contentious relationship, we fight like mothers and daughters do. Even to this day as I’m an adult (kind of), I’m starting to realize I’m a lot more like her than I’d sometimes care to admit. We’ve had a lot of obstacles we’ve both had to deal with. She is a recovering alcoholic, sober since November 7,1995. And I am so proud of her. When she was drinking as I was growing up well life wasn’t so wonderful, but I’m a big believer in the “butterfly effect”. By which I mean if she hadn’t been drinking and abusive and married an abusive racist jackass, then I wouldn’t have turned out to become who I am. And yes, I have issues that I am working on, and I’m trying to get better, but overall I like who I’ve become.
I remember she when she first got sober she left stepdad #1, and moved my brother and me to Naples, Florida. I had to leave the gym I had been at for years (gymnastics), I didn’t like my new gym, and all of a sudden she was taking an interest in my life trying to tell me rules and stuff! I mean seriously, how dare she start to act like a parent that cares!? (😂 )
At my new school I fell in with the wrong crowd, which really wasn’t hard to do considering I was younger than everyone else in my grade and most of the kids in my grade didn’t really want to hang out or be friends with the kid that was a year and a half to 2 years younger, even though I was in the same classes, I was just as smart if not smarter. Regardless, the only ones that wanted to be friends with me were the people that were all mostly in prison by the time I was 16.
The eighth grade is the beginning of my mom and me constantly fighting. I was a little brat that felt that she didn’t get to just stop drinking and become a parent. I felt like I didn’t have to listen to her.
I remember in the eighth grade, how me and two other 8th graders went into the bathroom with a 7th grade girl because she had iced tea with coconut rum in it. So we all drank it and got buzzed and then in the next period we were brought to the vice principal’s office. Me and him had a past the dislike was mutual but looking back, he had my number. He knew how manipulative I can be and he was one of the few people that knew I would lie and manipulate to help my cause.
So the four of us were in the vp’s office the 7th grader was crying uncontrollably (she got arrested) and my other two friends were just kind of skulking there, so I said “What’s going on?” and the vice principal went into a long diatribe about how the three of us were going to get 10 out of school suspensions and a bunch of other nonsense that I wanted no part of. I looked him dead in the eye and said “she (the 7th grader) told me it was iced tea, I had no reason not to believe her, so why are we getting punished for being duped?” He was not having that and after a few minutes of back and forth I’d had enough. I looked at my 2 friends and said “you have the right to remain silent…. use it! Until I get back” the vice principal then said something like “I’m not done with you where do you think you’re going?” To which I answered “Over your head, you four-eyed midget!” (Karma: I’ve been wearing glasses for the last 10+ years. Be careful what you say to people).
I then went and found the principal and went into my “I thought it was just iced tea”. Threw in the sad eyes and reminded him of how well I did in school and the fact that a 10 day Out of School suspension would destroy me as I wouldn’t be able to make up the work. He then stepped in, sent the three of us 8th graders home and said we’d have to meet him in his office the next morning because we were drinking alcohol on school grounds.
So I went home and my mom, who was working nights at that point, woke up and said something about me getting drunk at school and I said “I thought it was iced tea” to which she replied “Bullshit” I’ll be honest it was kind of hurtful that my own mother wouldn’t give me the benefit of the doubt, but the school’s principal did. Of course my mom could see right through me even then, that was just the beginning of our journey during my teen years. There are a lot more stories to be shared and they will be. And it’s funny how back then I saw her actions one way, but now as an adult I’m able to see them for what they were. Two completely different perspectives.
Like I said, my mom will be a series and this is just the beginning….
However, to finish the story, we ended up getting one day of in-school-suspension and 2 days out-of-school suspension. And the principal spoke with my teachers and I was able to make up the work…..
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Just the beginning I have a lot more to share. Lol