Cookie

Today would have been my grandma would have turned 92, had she not died in 2002. I still miss her so much. It doesn’t seem fair that I lost her, I’m still angry that I lost her. She absolutely hated being photographed so basically I have the featured image, and some wedding photos.

Funny story about the wedding photos, they were taken by a professional photographer, so we can’t make copies. The day my grandfather found his wedding album I took it to CVS to try and make copies and they wouldn’t let me. I was so furious. I went home crying and my uncle asked what was wrong and I told him I couldn’t make copies and it wasn’t fair because I was the closest to her and it’s not my fault I was born at “the bottom of the food chain”. It goes my grandpa of course, then my mom, then my uncle, then my brother, and then me. So I’d be like 60 by the time the pictures got to me and I was so distraught. Ok maybe this story isn’t so funny, but seriously you have to give me credit for the “bottom of the food chain” comment.

So after my little emotional breakdown/outburst, I went down to my room. And my uncle went upstairs to talk to my grandfather about what happened. So the next day grandpa gave me 1/2 of his wedding pictures💞💓💗. Happy ending for me!!

My grandmother was constantly shopping, she would buy like 20 of one thing 30 of another, she did her Christmas shopping all year round. I remember one time it was me, my grandpa, cookie, and my brother, we had just been to a store where my grandma bought like 20 fly swatters. Then, in our hotel room, there was a fly and she wouldn’t let my brother use a fly swatter kill it. So he ended up chasing the fly around the room trying to kill it with a hotel bible. It was hilarious. Absolutely hilarious.

When I was young and my dad’s side of the family would take my brother places and leave me with me with my cookie and at that time my grandpa was always at work (He was VP of Guardian Life Insurance), I would sit at the dining room table practicing my handwriting or just reading. She would always say to me: “why don’t you go outside and play” and I’d always have the same answer “I’m having fun sitting with you, and besides I’m left handed and lefties have bad handwriting, I want good handwriting.” I was a nerd since I was 4 and taught myself how to read.

I miss her so much. I’m definitely close to my grandfather, I don’t know what I would do without him. I mean not only does he help me, he doesn’t realize how much taking care of him actually means to me. And I help him by taking care of him.

One day, years ago, back when grandpa was still able to come downstairs, we were in the laundry room and I found a big portrait of him and my grandma. I took it and hung it up in my room. Later that day I went up to his room and said “you realize you’re not getting that portrait back right?” And he laughed and said “yeah I kind of figured that when you hung it on your wall”.

This is the portrait we found in the laundry room that now hangs in my room.

I love her so much. And it’s supposed to get easier with time, but really, it hasn’t. I miss her more and more each day, and I’ll admit that I’m a little bitter that she passed but all the assholes on my dad’s side are fine. Granted my other Grandma and Grandpa passed but that was just this year and a couple years ago. It just seems so unfair. And my cousins, why do they get to keep living without a care in the world? They are BAD PEOPLE!! I fully admit that I am bitter and I would have rathered it be one of them instead of my Cookie. Then again I have no relationship with them so I don’t care what happens to them.

I have so many more stories, but I’ll save them for another day. The most important thing is I have so many good memories of her it helps keep her alive in my heart.

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