Depressed/Hopeless 2

So I wrote my first blog earlier, it’s been up all day and no one has even read it I don’t think. No likes, no comments, just nothing. I feel like that’s my life right now. A bunch of nothing. It’s getting harder and harder to get out of bed, I’m constantly fatigued, I sleep all day and fall asleep at night.

I’m putting on an act for everyone, acting as if I’m happy, but really all I feel inside is empty. And it’s not just the GoFundMe, I knew it was a long shot. I ruined 2 diamond paintings that I was doing for Allison Burnett and my Grandfather. Well Mr. Cat kind of mostly ruined Allison’s. I’ll get replacements made but right now I am working on a real big “San Francisco Giants” painting for my uncle.

Baseball season starts tomorrow!! I am so excited. Me and my uncle have tickets to two Yankee games but we still don’t know if we’ll be able to go yet. My grandpa and I are the Yankee fans in our family, everyone else are fans of the “Mess” otherwise known as the Mets.

I’m watching “Beethoven” the first one. There are 8 “Beethoven” movies, I can’t believe they made that many. And I mean the movies about the big St Bernard , not the musical composer.

Starting tomorrow I have big plans. Put all the junk in the garage and pack up my winter clothes, start walking again so I can lose the last 20 pounds. I hope I can stay motivated.

I’m just feeling lonelier and lonelier but I’m going around putting on this act like everything is fine, when it’s not. I just don’t know what’s wrong with me.