Today Is My Birthday

I still haven’t finished the second part of 12 weeks ago. I’ve been working on it, but it’s hard because *spoiler alert* my grandpa, the person who took me in when no one wanted me, bought me whatever I wanted, and was my world… died. On June 13, 2022. And it’s just been hard to write and tell the story about what happened on this day in the hospital or write about how miraculously we got to bring him home on hospice and my uncle, and I spent a night and day each with him before he passed.

it’s hard trying to tell that story because it keeps reminding me of how scared I was and how uncertain my future was. And how, even now, a few months later, I still find myself going back over memories and wondering if there was a point that had we picked up something was wrong, could we have fixed it?

The doctor said “colon twisting” is an end-of-life thing, so essentially the answer would be no, but I can’t help but wonder at times. He was cremated, and the hospice nurse took off his wedding band because it couldn’t go with him. she handed it to me, and I didn’t have anywhere to put it, so I started seeing if it would fit on any of my fingers.

Later on, after they took grandpa’s body, I asked my uncle what we wanted to do with grandpa’s ring. He said, “I think it’s in a good spot.” Then he spoke to my mom, and she agreed. It would keep me close to both my grandparents since it was the wedding band engraved with both of their initials and the date they wed.

This was supposed to be a post about my first birthday without grandpa, and it basically turned into a grief post, I guess. Well, I’m going to try and get some work done, but I’ll try to do another post soon.

6 Comments

  1. Anonymous says:

    Lovely piece. Glad you have the ring.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you ๐Ÿ˜Š ๐Ÿ’“ and I’m glad about the ring too. I touch it whenever I think of either grandparent

      Like

  2. Anonymous says:

    P.s. Happy birthday!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you again ๐Ÿ’“

      Like

  3. Anonymous says:

    So happy to have shared so many days and months with grandpa he would be so proud of you being so strong you are a light of his day when he didnโ€™t want to do it you did and he always say I love that kid lol Happy Birthday again my friend..itโ€™s hard today it might be hard everyday of the month but always know itโ€™s ok to have moments when your not ok ..love you

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I love you too so much. And actually I had a good weekend celebrating and it wasn’t bad like I was afraid it would be. But when I started writing he was obviously on my mind.

      Like

Leave a Comment

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s